Not Finished, Not Perfect, but Fully Alive: A Letter to My 53-Year-Old Self

As I turn 53, I realise life is not about reaching a final destination. It is about becoming, again and again, with more courage, more compassion, and a deeper trust in who I am. This letter is a reminder to honour the journey, not just the milestones. Maybe you will find your own becoming reflected here, too.

Dear 53-Year-Old Gray,

Oh my god.
We made it.
Fifty-three. That is not just a number, it is a privilege.

And before I say anything else, I want to say: thank you for bringing me here.

Not everyone gets this far.
So many do not get to see this chapter.
So I honour that.
And I honour you for walking me here.

Now, let us get one thing straight:
No one has it all figured out.
Not at 30, not at 50, and not at 53.
Because life shifts. Everything can change in a breath.

But what I do know is this: the fact that I am still learning, still growing, still questioning, that is a gift.

I have been reflecting a lot on this feeling of not quite being there yet.
That pull. That chase.
But the truth is, we are always becoming. And that is okay.

So pause.
Celebrate this moment.
Be proud of where you are, not just where you are going.

Because if I zoom out for a second, wow.
In just three years, something stirred in me before turning 50, and it lit a fire:
I built the 50 & Wiser Club.
Launched the Wise Women brand.
Created space for women to be seen, celebrated, and empowered.
Helped others say yes to themselves.

And even if my book is not a bestseller, it is a soul-teller.
The women who read it feel it.
And that means everything.

Of course, I did not do any of this alone.
We never do.
It takes a team.
A village.
People who help prepare the clients, design the pages, proof the words, edit the photos, create the events, and hold me up when I question everything.
And a family who laughs with me when I am taking life way too seriously.
And thank goodness for them.

I have learned a lot.
To reflect before I react.
To stand tall when things get hard.
To lead, even when I feel shaky.
And to not compare myself, even though, god, I still do.

But I am learning.
Social media is not the whole story.
We never see the full cost of someone’s success.
And not everyone’s sacrifices are mine to carry.
So I will keep showing up my way.

Have there been sacrifices? Yes.
Have I juggled everything from motherhood to marriage to beekeeping? Absolutely.
And sometimes I have dropped a few balls.
But I always pick them back up, or I decide they were never mine to juggle after all.

I have also learned that stillness is not laziness.
We have been conditioned to equate busyness with success, but busyness is not a badge of honour. It is often a mask for distraction.

Leave space in your days.
That margin is not empty. It is essential.
It is where rest happens. Where clarity grows. Where creativity comes alive.

Simpler living does not come from doing more.
It comes from doing less of what does not matter.

You do not improve your life by adding more to it.
You improve it by letting go of what weighs you down.

The quieter we are digitally, the more peace we find internally.
Life improves when we remove the noise.
When we choose focus over distraction.
When we protect our time, our energy, and our space with intention.

You cannot always control how you feel.
But you can control how you respond.
And that changes everything.

So 53, listen up:
You have done a hell of a lot.
Be proud.
But be kinder to yourself, too.

Let there be quiet.
Let there be space.
Not just for hustle, but for healing, for clarity, for joy.

If new wisdom has not arrived yet, that is okay.
It will.
It always does.

For now, just know this:
You are doing beautifully.
You are enough, even in the becoming.

And I love you.

— Gray

If these words resonated with you, I would love to hear what you are discovering on your own journey of becoming. Feel free to share your reflections below.